Almost a waste of life

A friend just emailed me to say that she was finally taking a vacation. I have known her for about 4 years now, and this will be the first time that she has taken a vacation away from DC where she lives, in all that time. She will be out of town for the inauguration. Which is something that most people I know who live in DC will be doing. I will just digress for a moment here to tell you what she said. Apparently they will be closing down DC for half a day before, the whole day of, and half a day after the inauguration itself. They will be maintaining massive security throughout that time, and anyone coming in to the District for the ceremony will be comprehensively searched. All at the expense of the District, which is apparently so poor that it can't currently even keep its own hospital open. I have no doubt that the people who live in DC will not get to hear about the protests that occur during that time, about the near riots, and riots that occur, and the extent of the objection of the populace to the inauguration of Dubbya once again. I know this because I lived in the District for the last inauguration, and we heard nothing of the riots, public dissent and protests that occurred in the town that day. I didn't know about it until K told me what she had seen on TV down in Florida. But then we didn't hear of the opressive tactics of the State Troopers as the prevented the African American population of Florida from voting. Anyway, back to my friend.

She asked me to be proud of her for finally taking a vacation. In my heart I can't help but be worried for her. She is older than me, still owes on her student loans, still lives in fear of her parents' disapproval, and still wonders when her knight in shining armour will come and save her from her dreary life. She sits alone in her life, thinking about what could be, not realising that her life is passing her by. That the longer she sits thinking about doing something, the less likely it is that she will ever get to do it. She and her sister have already planned their old age, they will live in a duplex together, close enough for regular contact without living together. In a woman in her early 40's who is intelligent, beautiful (when she lets herself be) and good fun to be around (when she lets herself be) I find this upsetting. That someone with her level of intelligence can let their life just pass them by in this way is distressing, and of great concern to me. Why don't I do something to help her? I tried. I was a close friend, physically and emotionally, for 3 years, in which time I tried to get her to come out of her self imposed isolation. It worked as long as I pushed her, but if I didn't push her she didn't bother to experience her life as she lived it.

I would love for her to be brave and just pick up and move away somewhere without any plans. To perhaps go to San Francisco for a couple of months, to experience how life can be lived when it is enjoyed by the person living it. But I know she never will. As long as I have known her she has been talking about getting a new job, and yet she is still there, in the same job, with unbelievable pressure and stress, and I know now that she will never leave it until she is forced to. In the meantime I will tell her that I am pleased that she has finally used the air ticket that she bought last summer, and will take time off work. That I hope that she has a good time, that she rests, recuperates, and that she goes back to the District with a renewed approach to life. But I know that she won't, that within days of being back at work she will be just as stressed and just as reclusive as she was before she went away.

I would say that hers is almost a wasted life, except that she has two wonderful nieces, whom she loves dearly and whom love her to death. For them her life is not a waste. But sadly for her it is.